.Monday, October 5, 2009 ' 8:26 PM Y
& your love is all i ever wanted
once my mum say if she had won yesterday's 4D,
she will give us a better life, clear all the problems we have now, buy whatever we want.
she keep in saying she very xin tong.
i hear already also feel very xin tong for her.
she had been working hard for us.
even now,
her hand hurts a lot and she doesnt want to go see doctor and continue doing chores and part time jobs.
she say wait until her hand hadicap already then stop doing all the chores and part time job.
my heart really hurts now.
there is nth much i can do for her now.
except for studying hard and get good grades.
i cant tell her i am worried for her and her health.
i cant tell her i am scared and fearful.
i cant tell her i feel xin tong for everything.
i cant cry in front of her.
it will all cause burdern to her.
so everytime she say about yesterday's 4D,
i have to turn away or walk away or hold back my tears.
yesterday she asked me to hug her.
i hug her and let down a few tears
then quickly came back to my room and sleep to hide it from her.
and that makes her think i dont care about it and her and stuff...
