.Monday, August 31, 2009 ' 9:19 PM Y
& your love is all i ever wanted
dunno what to say to 'you' and 'you' alr.
feeling so craped up now.
and the amazing thing is that
I DUNNO WHY I FEEL SO DAMN CRAPED UP!
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IS THE REASON TOO!
I JUST FEEL VERY MIXED UP AND CONFUSED INSIDE ME.
FEEL LYK CRYING.
DUNNO WHY EITHER.
the first 'you'.
i have no idea what to talk about when i was to chat with you.
i cant strike up any topic when chatting with you
when i know myself that i have a lot of questions to ask you.
maybe i was too timid to ask the questions.
maybe i was too scared that your answer will be the last thing i want to hear.
maybe...
maybe i really have no gut.
and our conversation doesnt last long lyk what we do few months ago.
and when the conversation of the topic ends without you striking another question or topic,
i have to think of another question or topic or even just let the conversation end lyk tat.
and now with the limited resource of talking to you,
i feel that we are lyk strangers alr.
really strangers lyk we had never known each other...
the second 'you'.
was i too harsh to you just now in the afternoon?
i seem to feel very gulity and feel that you are angry with me or sth.
did my mood swing* scare you or sth?
sorry if it did.
i dare not to really talk to you now.
the topic we talk first about is mainly 'him'
then we will continue with other topics when we think of it.
but i dun really want to talk about 'him' anymore.
so i dunno what topic to strike up to you now...
i think im a
FAILURE in everything.
studies.
GZ.
health.
appearance.
temper.
personality.
friends relation.
EVERYTHING IN THIS WHOLE DAMN WORLD...
maybe THESE are the reasons why im feeling so damn crapped up...
so tell me...
WHAT can i say?
*my mood swing doesnt necessarily must come that thing then will have one.
